On the 1st of January we trialed weaning my miss 27months....she had missed a feed due to all of our new years activities and it hadn't seemed to bother her....so I set out to see how she went (and my boobs) if we happened to miss another day of feeds....or only have 1 feed...
well you know the story!
I have to tell you it was a very emotional ride for me...
I missed that closeness with her and mourned the fact that I would never get that back!
I loved my title of a "breastfeeding mother"..... I wore that badge with honour for over 2 years
(even if people snickered at me!)
It was a hard thing to let go of....
What made it easier is I had a couple of weak moments....Addy was over tired and kept grabbing at my top as I tried to lay her in her cot for her daily nap. She had done this for over a week and I was feeling ever so guilty that I was taking my breasts away from her when she wasn't fully ready!
So with hubby at work (he would have scorned me) as she stood in her cot I let her have a suckle...
she had about 3 sucks on each side and promptly dropped to her knees and dozed off!
Hmmmm...
We had the same thing the very next day...so I gave her a little bit as a trial...same thing!
I realised she wasn't after my milk but that piece of security and comfort she has always had...I often let her fall asleep at the breast :/
So the next day we had long cuddles and we had a little chat...we talked about how mummies boobies were still there (she would often climb on my lap just to check!) and now we can share them with cuddling really tightly....and she has been known to slip her hand inside my shirt to hold them when she is overtired or stressed :/
Letting her know that they were still there instead of saying 'boobie all gone" was a much better option!
We turned a corner over night....both of us! She was okay with it and remarkably so was I!
My milk has pretty well dried up now....and I am left with nothing! (boob wise)
I had hoped for a little more but that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess!
Which had brought me to thoughts of a boob job....just to re-fill....like you do your ink cartridges ;)
But as a mother to 4 young and very impressionable daughters....one who has just hit puberty I have another dilemma...is it just vanity? And what kind of role model am I being for them if I can't accept my body for what it is!
Why does parenting have to be so hard sometimes??!
I'd be very interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter!!
Love
Oh Kylie, well done, you did a fantastic job. I have two children and breastfed until they each weaned themselves at 16 1/2 months. I too missed it very much (the closeness). I can relate to you about the empty breast tissue, I feel vain in admitting to it, but I miss that fullness and now I feel a tad granny-like and saggy!! Last week I got the confidence to go out and purchase a push up bra, and I feel like I have recovered part of myself again...
ReplyDeleteLove reading your blogs, lovely to know i'm not the only one mourning part of my body! xx
You have done an amazing job to feed for 27 months. I will i could have fed my little man for longer than i did. I almost lost him as a newborn and as a result i never really had much milk. I dried up completely at 6 months :( It was heart breaking that i missed that closeness.
ReplyDeleteWell done to you :) and how hard that decision must have been.
Re the boob job, Think of it as restoring them to their former beauty :) your boobs have worked very hard and as a result, have a bit or ware and tear (i feel your pain here and I've only had 1 baby!) You are not changing who you are, you are not unhappy with what you were given, you are 'restoring' & rewarding for a job well done.
Anna xx